Pedophiles, predators and sentences

Graham James, the man convicted of sexually abusing young hockey players, including Sheldon Kennedy, was sentenced to two years yesterday, March 20, 2012. Some say the judge bent over backwards to be lenient on him (Sun News). His lawyer says that the sentence was fair. Dan Lett, of the Winnipeg Free Press (http://bit.ly/GEZWu4) stated that the judge made the wrong decision, as demanded by Canadian law in his article titled “Correct? Yes. Right? Unfortunately not.” He noted that this was a case that no judge would want. He stated that this judgement was “consistent with one of the most important principles of Canada’s justice system, a hallmark of a fair and noble society” He also noted that it was wrong. The CBC put this story in the sports section. It is not a sports story, it is a crime story. Sun News had some hard hitting, angry commentary. Both news outlets had input from Sheldon Kennedy, one of James’ “victims”. (I put victim in quotes because I believe he has moved beyond victim status, and can’t think of another word just now) Of course, the comments from readers were generally angry about this seemingly lenient sentence.

This has always been a difficult issue for me. I have worked with victims (survivors?) of sex abuse, and have wondered what a suitable sentence would be. One wise social worker I knew a long time ago, said that the Canadian criminal justice system cannot do what we’d really like it to do. Nor would we want that, frankly. I mean, hanging the offender from various body parts, and other sick things we think of, really aren’t appropriate. Well, not in a supposedly fair and just society that Canada is supposed to be. At one point, I decided that the minimum I would consider acceptable would be a two year sentence. In Canada, that means the offender would spend time in Federal Prison, and Federal Prison is not a nice place for pedophiles and others who sexually offend against children.

I have certainly met children and adults who have experienced unspeakable abuses against them. People who as children were abused, and then the adults who were supposed to care for them did not believe them. Sadly, our society has been inclined to blame the victim. I suppose if we believe the victims, we have to admit that people do horrible things to each other….and that is difficult. Our courts have harassed the victims and re-victimized them. Young children have been considered “unreliable witnesses”.  Past judges, often white men, have protected fellow white men by suggesting that the courts should not believe women and children who make accusations against “fine upstanding men”. (I wish I could find the reference for this one. If I find it, I will add it). The bottom line is, it is very difficult for victims to come forward. Even today, when things have changed over the years.

It is easy to think that sex abuse is on the increase because we hear about it more now than in the past. I don’t think there is more sex abuse. I think people are talking about it more. Talking is good because sex abuse happens in secret. Behind closed doors. It has happened in churches a lot for good reason. Who would ever suspect “good Christians” of doing such a thing? Children are silenced by threats. By promises. By guilt. By shame. They are told they will not be believed, and often they aren’t believed. They are told their dog will be killed, or that their family will not love them. They are told the offender will be sent to jail, and that it will be their fault. There are many good reasons why children and teens are silent on this. Hockey players like Sheldon Kennedy and Theoren Fleury would have felt particularly shamed. As strong, athletic teens, they “should” have been able to stop it. If only it were so easy.

I used to work with children under 12 who had sexual behaviour problems. Yes, that happens, and that is the age to help future offenders. Fourteen year olds who offend against younger children know it is wrong, and want to do anything to change. I had one client who was fourteen. By rights, he should have been charged because then he could have gotten treatment. When I was trying to help him, I was speaking to a social worker who worked at the treatment facility in Prince George. He told me that it would be nice if sex offenders had long green tongues that hung to the ground so we could identify them. Sadly, they are people who children like. They are nice. They are charming. Manipulative. They blend in.

Sex abuse of children is not about sex. It is about power. Some offenders do believe they are teaching children about “love”. Of course that is crap. Some intend to hurt children. A fair percentage of offenders were abused themselves. They pick children or victims they know will not tell on them. They seem to have a radar for those lonely, vulnerable kids. They may very well have been those lonely vulnerable kids in the past.

I have been having a bit of a Twitter conversation with Bob Zimmer,  the MP of my riding. He asked if it would be best if people like Graham James should stay incarcerated until they are safe. What a question. It is a good question. I’m not sure how to answer that. Paul Bernardo will presumably be in jail for life because he did such horrific things. Why shouldn’t someone like Graham James be incarcerated for life as well. How do we know when he is safe? How would we know if Paul Bernardo is safe? Wouldn’t he be entitled to the same consideration, if we are using that measurement?  Would these offenders (Bernardo included) be getting rehabilitated in prison? Are they rehabilitatable?  I honestly don’t know the answer to that. If someone were truly changed or changing, they would recognize that they can never be alone with children again. They would not put themselves in a position to offend against children. From what I have read about Mr. James, he seems to have continued his pattern. I would not be surprised to hear of other victims coming forward.

I am glad that people like Sheldon Kennedy and Theo Fleury are coming forward and telling their stories. Education is far better than legislation. Offenders are quite often “nice”, charming people and when we know more about them, we are less likely to be wooed by their charms. We will be better able to hold them accountable for their actions. Was the judge who sentenced Mr James conned by him? Of course, not having all the answers, I do not know.

This morning I was listening to an interview with a man who had been friends with Jeffrey Dahmer when they were in High School. He said that Dahmer went unnoticed, partly because teachers and the people that “should” have noticed just didn’t know. They did not expect or anticipate such behaviours. Dahmer apparently was drunk at school in the mornings. He walked around the school carrying a cup of alcohol. Because the teachers did not expect it, they didn’t notice it. He suggested that if Dahmer had gotten help then, he might not have turned into such a monster. Of course the friend did not think Dahmer would have been a fine upstanding citizen. He figured he would have lived with his parent(s) and been an odd ball. I wonder about people like Graham James. What would have happened if someone had noticed him as a teen or pre-teen? Would things have been different? Of course we’ll never know. What we can do, is figure out how to help the future “Graham James'”.

One great thing that has come from all this is the Calgary Child Advocacy Centre that will be opening in Calgary soon (http://bit.ly/GK2K7A) This is a centre that Sheldon Kennedy has promoted. It will be a place where all the services for children will be in one place. Prevention is very important, and will save lives on many levels. Of course it can’t be measured. Yet. Children are worth the investment though. Aren’t they?

So, as to what to do with people like Graham James, I don’t know. It might have been better to have had cameras in court. Ditch the secrecy. Let the chips fall where they will. Perhaps Mr James is entitled to some protection. I get that. At the same time, he needs to be held accountable. If he is truly remorseful, he will show his face, and deal with the consequences. Just as his victims had to do.

Graham James sentenced (CBC – Sports) http://bit.ly/GBc0ho

Graham James sentence may be appealed (CBC) http://bit.ly/GDpQmm

Sentencing of Graham James (Sun News)  http://bit.ly/GG3boO

Sheldon Kennedy (Sun News) http://bit.ly/GDwDNm